Your Body Screams - but do you listen?

Do you ever just know something? You can’t see it or feel it. You can’t taste it or hear it. You can’t smell it, and you can’t even begin to try to show someone what you know. Except, thinking again, maybe you can feel it, hear it, see it, taste it and touch it but not traditionally. It might be silent, transparent, tasteless, yet it’s there. Your heart races, your belly might ache, and your hands might get clammy. Your body tells you, and it always has, yet you might have disregarded it since you were a child. Pushed it away, or down, or up. Told yourself you’re too sensitive, that you feel too much, that you’re just creative and imagine a lot.

A couple things have happened lately to people I know closely as well as to me that begs us to honor our sixth sense. A friend recently suspected her boyfriend was up to no good – he gave no red flags – she just knew and caught him in the act. Busted. He can no longer call her crazy, hormonal or emotional. And, she’s found relief and freedom in trusting herself for the first time.

I recently let some things that I suspected all along finally come to surface, and to protect the not-so-innocent, I will refrain from being too specific – but I am no longer shrinking, I am honoring what I deeply know. I am no longer pushing down what I know to be true. I am no longer giving chance after chance. Could I lose things in the process? Yes. But, was what I thought I had even true in the first place? Unfortunately maybe not. Yet, could I also move into a better space of honoring my gut, my hunch, my heart? Thank the heavens above – YES.

We’re given a tap on the shoulder – a whisper of a warning – before we’re given the big blow. Let your sixth sense be the tap on your shoulder, the whisper. Give yourself more credit to stand tall in your own two shoes – to claim what you want or to let go of what no longer serves you. Stop pushing it down, stop throwing it up, stop smiling to make things look nice, stop saying yes when you want to say no, stop running away, stop pretending, stop shrinking. Trust your gut.

And, if it’s too hard to trust your gut, to listen to your body, to trust what you know – if all that’s too scary (and that’s completely understandable), ask a trustworthy someone to support you while you find your own truth. Yes, sometimes it is scary, and it is big, and your body screams. Listen to it, and treat yourself to support, to someone who understands the beauty of the sixth sense.

Since the holiday season brings a lot of pressure to please, to reconnect with old traditions and people, and to make new year’s resolutions (or not, which is okay too!), I challenge you to tune into your body. Tune into your gut. What’s your body saying? Who makes you feel ick? Who makes you feel warm? Where is your heart leading you? Toward something or away from something? What weighs you down – that something you can’t name or see but you just know? Let your breath go to that part of your body where you feel the mystery, and ask it to guide you to make the right choice. If you listen, you will know.

On Meditating...(and changing/fixing/transcending or finding plain peace)

In the book Women Food and God by Geneen Roth, her phrase on presence that I believe applies to us all -- yoginis or not -- appears on page 112 and 113:
"Usually, when people hear the word meditation, they think of transcending this clunky earthly plane. The kind of meditation I refer to has nothing to do with transcending or leaving or changing yourself in any way -- and everything to do with its opposite: showing up where you already are."

How beautiful. Stop fixing and/or changing yourself, and show up as you already are. At work in a boring meeting. In your car behind a slowpoke. In line at the post office. During a dance class or exhilarating run. Or in the middle of an addiction or struggle. Show up. Be present. Take it all in. Yes, just being where you are, clearing your mind, absorbing what you're doing, and not wishing time (or your thighs) away all count as meditation. You will benefit in ways you can't really control or imagine.

I used to get so irritated at the thought of sitting on a pillow before an altar and meditating. It made me want to scream and run and roll my eyes -- I had no intention of transcending. Life is short enough, I needed some holy EARTHINESS in my body with my loved ones, not to float in the clouds. I'd escaped my body too many times before. I needed earthly presence with peace.

So, before I read Geneen's new book, and while I was immersed in a yoga training, I decided to make peace with this thing called meditation. Sometimes I'd have a movement meditation while taking a great class or doing my own asana practice. Sometimes (okay, occasionally) I'd have a cooking meditation. Sometimes, I'd have a driving meditation. Many times a walking meditation, a bathtub meditation, and a mat meditation. The idea was to clear my head of the running thoughts that go something like this:

I should have checked the stove before I left the house; did the door shut completely?; am I going to hit the deadline?; what if I ask for an extra day -- will they think I'm slacking?; who cares what they think?; if the kitty gets out, I will never forgive myself; if the house burns with Nick still sleeping, I'll just die; God, we need to paint the shutters...

See what I mean? Those are the thoughts we can let go. Sometimes it just takes a little tweaking perspective. While India's a lovely place, and having a spiritual awakening during your committed pillow/floor/quiet time is nothing short of holy, we don't have to be so hard on ourselves. We can start now. All we really have to do is show up.

~ Namaste

If you've ever dieted one time too many, or if tell yourself ugly thoughts when looking in a mirror, you might just eat up this book. For more information about Women Food and God, visit: http://www.womenfoodandgod.com/

If you're interested in private yoga or personal training sessions, write me: caroline@mybodyflow.com

Looking Within v. NAAO

I'm a huge "do-not-diet" advocate. I'm also a huge believer that eating issues (overeating, undereating), food issues (you-name-it), and exercise abuse (or lack of exercise) issues, all settle much, much, much deeper than "laziness", or "she's just a control freak", or "too many vending machines followed by McDonald's". If those three examples truly explained overeating, undereating and everything-in-between, don't you think we could Move On?

When I got home tonight, I flipped on Campbell Brown's show on CNN featuring MeMe Roth, Founder and President of NAAO (National Action Against Obesity). If you watched, or if you're familiar with her antics, you know MeMe's claims of tough love for anyone who's overweight. In a nutshell, "stop eating junk, move, and for goodness sakes, have some self discipline!"

Now, if you visit the following link highlighting her philosophies ( http://www.actionagainstobesity.com/NationalActionAgainstObesity/Founder.html), you might find some decent points like the rising problem of obesity, dangerous food marketing, and eating a balanced diet. Then, she slides in that obesity is basically a self-inflicted illness. I could write a book here, but I won't.

Look, I make a living helping others to "listen to their bodies" by moving (aka exercising). I'm obviously an advocate of a well-balanced diet, consistent doses of various physical activities, and proper rest. But, from personal and professional experience, claiming that some whippersnapper self-discipline and a 4-mile daily run will guarantee you a thin, trim, fit, svelte 20s body-for-life is bologna.

Sure, we could cut back on the regular fast-food meals or the daily vending machine snacks filled with sugar. Sure, we could all step away from our computers and televisions and take the dogs on a walk. Sure, we could try to tax all the "fat" in attempts to solve all our obesity and health insurance problems. But, if it's too good to be true, you know the rest....

If you peel back the initial layers of health education (a balanced diet, listening to your body's signals, regular exercise and sleep, stress reduction), you'll find that a) some people are quite happy and healthy not being a certain size, and/or b) obesity can likely be a sign of emotional eating and sometimes categorized as a clinically diagnosed eating disorder(s).

I have a hard time with MeMe's light-switch notion that people should be more disciplined in controlling their weight and that people CHOOSE unhealthy lifestyles. Lucky for her ego, she oozes with self control and righteousness otherwise she might not be preaching.

Let me reiterate - Let's get healthy. Let's educate ourselves. But, let's also dig deeper to find out why we have food issues. Or, drinking issues, or shopping issues, or gossiping issues, or gambling issues, or relationship issues, etc. Or, how about sense-of-self or spirit issues?

Instead of diets, or drinking, or credit cards, let's get real and fill ourselves with self-care and healthy, supportive relationships. I know it's a lot to ask, but looking within toward the tender places might just be the richest thing you will ever find.



*If you feel you need some guidance in finding a therapist to help you with these issues, please feel free to contact me.