Wednesday, April 20, 2011

On Letting Go...in a new way






One of my favorite pieces of breath work to practice and teach is letting go through the exhale. Inhale (and receive if you wish), then exhale with care releasing excess air, excess energy, and anything you’d like to simply let go. Over and over, exhale and let go.




If you’re on the sensitive side – where you feel deeply, sense the unseen, carry the weight of others’ burdens or energy, etc. – you probably could use A LOT OF LETTING GO. Let me just say it’s the theme of my life. I might solely be here on Earth to learn to let go, and then I see all kinds of other things (like receiving) that I need to learn too, so I get it – I’ve got a lot more lessons to learn before I can say I’ve got any of it figured out. [As I hope you know, if anyone tells you they’ve got all the answers, please run far, far away from them – and very quickly.]




You know you’re in the thick of it when not only can you sense your own lesson being learned but also you keep running into it in other people. I have clients and even dear friends who are in places where they are working tirelessly on letting go. Jobs that are too stiff. Relationships that aren’t so healthy or romantic. Medical issues that seem relentless. Eating disorders that are robbing them of truly living and thriving.




From a professional point of view, I think the tender, raw spots in my clients are what make my work so interesting and real. We can get in touch with the breath, ground through movement, and find strength, power and grace through various forms of exercise. And, when the going gets tough, I remind them to let go – through the breath and, ultimately, in their hearts. It’s cool stuff, it takes practice, but I swear it works.




So why am I writing specifically about letting go? I can teach and preach, but I’ve always found it helpful and more believable when my teachers and preachers share some of their own personal humility along with the lesson. A little background: I do love what I do. I love learning about new ways to train the body/spirit/self through yoga, creative movement, resistance training, etc. I’m usually gung-ho about signing up for a workshop, or teacher training, or related training/learning event. And, I love brainstorming new workshops to promote and lead. I’m blessed that I’ve found something fascinating where I can grow along with my clients.




And, then something happened this past winter that made me slow down and shift gears from more-more-more to simply being. It’s called pregnancy. For a while there, all I could do was watch TLC – A Baby Story, Bringing Home Baby, What Not to Wear, Say Yes to the Dress. Not in that particular order, but reality tv – something that usually pinches my last nerve – was something I could stomach. Not the computer, not writing, not another yoga workshop. I just wanted mind-(and stomach-)numbing activities.




The first trimester crept by (as grateful as I felt to grow life inside of me, I yearned for that 12-week mark other women kept talking about!), and while I regained that pep in my step and felt like I could conquer the world again, I’ve still not been floored to do-do-do, learn-learn-learn, teach-teach-teach. Matter of fact, I recently stopped teaching one class, and it’s been a Godsend. I feel even lighter as my belly grows – grateful to have more time to just be. Not to give, not to teach, not to take care of others.




For a second there, I got worried that I was depressed – where did my drive go? My chutzpah? My enthusiasm? But then, several wise women reminded me this is a time to go within, to honor the new life inside, to simply go with the flow. Another lesson in letting go. Let go of the need to create something huge, to push, or to improve. I’m already creating something huge, will be pushing in some form or another in August if you know what I mean, and have you ever told a hormonal pregnant woman to improve on something? (Fat chance you got a warm look or response!)




I’m getting used to this slowing down. I’m taking my time preparing for my baby, enjoying the growth and abundance of Spring, and continuing to let go – to let go of the variety of fears that come along with parenthood. I like the saying “ignorance is bliss” – I know my life is going to change, and I know I’ll never be able to just “run out” like I used to, I know I’ll be hormonal and feel a little (or very) crazy, and I know I can’t even imagine what joy and love will fill my heart. All of that will come in time, I’m not going to drive myself crazy trying to read every parenting book known to woman. It will all come in time.




Now’s time to let go, to take good care of my current clients, to enjoy this quiet time with my husband and fur family. To inhale trust and grace, and to exhale the things that can wait. Who says lessons always have to be hard to learn? This is a lesson in letting go that I’ll embrace. By the way, if I’m not updating my blog, I’m probably just watching TLC or trying to keep my begonias alive. But, perhaps this opening up about my slowing down will allow me to open up, to share this truly amazing body experience. Peace and letting go to you.