On Letting Go...in a new way

One of my favorite pieces of breath work to practice and teach is letting go through the exhale. Inhale (and receive if you wish), then exhale with care releasing excess air, excess energy, and anything you’d like to simply let go. Over and over, exhale and let go.

If you’re on the sensitive side – where you feel deeply, sense the unseen, carry the weight of others’ burdens or energy, etc. – you probably could use A LOT OF LETTING GO. Let me just say it’s the theme of my life. I might solely be here on Earth to learn to let go, and then I see all kinds of other things (like receiving) that I need to learn too, so I get it – I’ve got a lot more lessons to learn before I can say I’ve got any of it figured out. [As I hope you know, if anyone tells you they’ve got all the answers, please run far, far away from them – and very quickly.]

You know you’re in the thick of it when not only can you sense your own lesson being learned but also you keep running into it in other people. I have clients and even dear friends who are in places where they are working tirelessly on letting go. Jobs that are too stiff. Relationships that aren’t so healthy or romantic. Medical issues that seem relentless. Eating disorders that are robbing them of truly living and thriving.

From a professional point of view, I think the tender, raw spots in my clients are what make my work so interesting and real. We can get in touch with the breath, ground through movement, and find strength, power and grace through various forms of exercise. And, when the going gets tough, I remind them to let go – through the breath and, ultimately, in their hearts. It’s cool stuff, it takes practice, but I swear it works.

So why am I writing specifically about letting go? I can teach and preach, but I’ve always found it helpful and more believable when my teachers and preachers share some of their own personal humility along with the lesson. A little background: I do love what I do. I love learning about new ways to train the body/spirit/self through yoga, creative movement, resistance training, etc. I’m usually gung-ho about signing up for a workshop, or teacher training, or related training/learning event. And, I love brainstorming new workshops to promote and lead. I’m blessed that I’ve found something fascinating where I can grow along with my clients.

And, then something happened this past winter that made me slow down and shift gears from more-more-more to simply being. It’s called pregnancy. For a while there, all I could do was watch TLC – A Baby Story, Bringing Home Baby, What Not to Wear, Say Yes to the Dress. Not in that particular order, but reality tv – something that usually pinches my last nerve – was something I could stomach. Not the computer, not writing, not another yoga workshop. I just wanted mind-(and stomach-)numbing activities.

The first trimester crept by (as grateful as I felt to grow life inside of me, I yearned for that 12-week mark other women kept talking about!), and while I regained that pep in my step and felt like I could conquer the world again, I’ve still not been floored to do-do-do, learn-learn-learn, teach-teach-teach. Matter of fact, I recently stopped teaching one class, and it’s been a Godsend. I feel even lighter as my belly grows – grateful to have more time to just be. Not to give, not to teach, not to take care of others.

For a second there, I got worried that I was depressed – where did my drive go? My chutzpah? My enthusiasm? But then, several wise women reminded me this is a time to go within, to honor the new life inside, to simply go with the flow. Another lesson in letting go. Let go of the need to create something huge, to push, or to improve. I’m already creating something huge, will be pushing in some form or another in August if you know what I mean, and have you ever told a hormonal pregnant woman to improve on something? (Fat chance you got a warm look or response!)

I’m getting used to this slowing down. I’m taking my time preparing for my baby, enjoying the growth and abundance of Spring, and continuing to let go – to let go of the variety of fears that come along with parenthood. I like the saying “ignorance is bliss” – I know my life is going to change, and I know I’ll never be able to just “run out” like I used to, I know I’ll be hormonal and feel a little (or very) crazy, and I know I can’t even imagine what joy and love will fill my heart. All of that will come in time, I’m not going to drive myself crazy trying to read every parenting book known to woman. It will all come in time.

Now’s time to let go, to take good care of my current clients, to enjoy this quiet time with my husband and fur family. To inhale trust and grace, and to exhale the things that can wait. Who says lessons always have to be hard to learn? This is a lesson in letting go that I’ll embrace. By the way, if I’m not updating my blog, I’m probably just watching TLC or trying to keep my begonias alive. But, perhaps this opening up about my slowing down will allow me to open up, to share this truly amazing body experience. Peace and letting go to you.

Resistance Training & Body Awareness: How it Helped Me and How it Can Help You Too

Anyone can pick up a fitness magazine or do a quick Google search to find out the benefits of regular resistance training – increases bone density, increases strength for functional activities, increases circulation, improves heart condition, builds muscle, helps one sleep better, releases feel-good endorphins, and the list continues.

I’d like to address the benefits of increased body awareness and improved body image. Throughout my journey of teaching classes and training clients and taking my own continuing education classes, I’m constantly reminded of the necessity to feel grounded, to feel strong, to feel balanced, in order to learn a new fitness activity, to live with energy and optimism, to take care of yourself and others. I believe we gain those senses of grounding, strength and balance from resistance training.

While resistance training (RT) can be traditionally performed with dumbbells, weight machines, a bench, medicine balls, bands, etc., you can also simply use your own body weight with proper form and function. Try taking a ballet or power yoga class if you haven’t in a while – you’ll see how ballerinas and yogis easily challenge their muscles with no equipment!

However, I’ve found that for the majority of us (aka non-ballerinas), we need to learn the basics of RT to sense our muscles, structure and range of motion. And, that usually involves light, medium and heavy dumbbells (or even resistance bands) to hit all the major muscle groups, plus proper instruction to keep the body safe. Add some heart-pumping music, and you'll be movin' and groovin' to your heart's content. And, once we learn the basics and gain awareness and strength, then we can take the foundation of RT into other activities.

As a young dancer and high school stepper (fyi, “stepper” = step class lover), I fell in love with movement and music and decided in college that I could share that love and joy with others in the fitness arena. I started teaching RT classes in college, and I’m grateful to all my teachers who taught me the bones of structuring a class and the muscles of knowledge and creativity. Just beyond my love with music and movement, I admit my intentions initially began with wanting a perfect body. It was sort of like a tree rooted deeply for the right reasons to begin with, but there were a few rotten branches that needed some pruning, and that happened a little later down the road. But, again, while I lifted, pushed, pulled, stepped and leaped with the goal – to sum it up – of a tight ass, this movement of being in my body gave me something deeper and more important than the superficial ornament of looking good. I knew there was a way to “work out” while letting go of the unhealthy (and, as I think now, quite boring), old intentions.

Body Awareness – While on my path of practicing RT regularly and teaching others, I discovered my predictable strengths (quads, glutes), unfortunate weaknesses (pecs, wrists, knees), range of motion and flexibility (I became a lover of flow), and I began to care for that sense of awareness with respect recognizing where I needed to reach and where I needed to relax.

Body Image – My sense of self, not only my sense of body, became increasingly louder and stronger (see my previous post “Your Body Screams – but do you listen?”). My belly, my shoulders and my breath told me when my insides were off. My sense of relaxation and peace told me when things were okay. How does that relate to body image? Body image starts from the inside, a sense of self that permeates from the inside-out telling you you are more than your body. Start from the inside, listen to what your gut and your body needs (yes, it takes lots of practice!), and that truth will set you free. You can walk confidently knowing your branches are exactly as they should be, you don’t need the ornaments of perfection because you listen, you evolve, you change, you grow, you breathe, you are – and that’s all that matters.

Now with a strong sense of body awareness and a healthy body image built from a lot of practice and honesty, I let my body lead me on my fitness path. I teach a full body resistance class once a week, I practice and teach a variety of yoga, I take dance/step classes here and there, and I walk my dog and help him chase squirrels. I back off when I need, I pump it up when I need (my body, not the squirrels!).

I tell this story about my own experience because if I’m teaching it to others, I better have been there. And, I’ve seen this happen with my clients and fellow teachers. Start with the basics. Get to know your body. Seek guidance of someone who’s sensitive and well trained. Then, start listening, and let your body and heart lead you.

Measure Your Energy - Not Your Thighs

I recently had someone write asking about my services, and I wrote her such an in-depth response that I decided this specific portion might serve my blog readers too. This will give you an idea of how I'm trying to help steer the world of fitness in a new direction. ;)

"I’ll honestly say I’m not a fan of measuring or weighing - pounds, body parts, calories, carbs, etc. I tell clients – let’s measure your energy not your thighs. The first time I told a client that she was a little surprised and probably disappointed, but she said, “okay, let’s give it a shot.” She’d just been to Canyon Ranch – weighed, measured and poked – before we started together which prompted her to seek a trainer. A year later she returned to Canyon Ranch. She met with the head trainer again who was blown away by her progress in a year. She was already a regular runner, but we added the weight training and yoga component twice a week for added muscle strength, bone support as she was aging, and flexibility training. This cross training gave her a boost in strength, a graceful and calming sense flexibility, newfound body awareness, and a much-needed break in her busy day as a CEO. Yes, she got compliments over and over on how she "looked", but we both knew the stress relief benefits and the strength she discovered she had were the biggest things to smile about."

So, throw away your scales, forget the tape measure, and stop driving yourself crazy with Points. I believe this intuitive approach to fitness -- listening to your body, finding your internal/external edge -- is a more loving and sustainable approach to fitness from the inside-out.

Some Days You Shop

If you're wondering how much you should be "exercising", you're one of many! But, no wonder because there are so many different messages about exercise. Here's a few you might be considering:

*Something balanced and moderate like what the CDC recommends ~ About 150 minutes of moderate-intensity activity/week + plus 2 days of resistance training.

*Something close to The Biggest Loser tv show ~ grueling workouts with a bully trainer.

*Something along the lines of All or Nothing.

*Something that involves no training shoes or sweat.

*Something more boring than a physics class (no offense to you physicists!).

Look, the road of fitness shouldn't equal strict rules, gym-only workouts, hardcore trainers or black/white thinking. Like I mentioned recently, think moderate, balanced and flexible - just like your diet - eat your veggies, incorporate some protein, and eat those carbs for energy! Get an array of movement, learn to tune into your body, and yes, learn proper form and function of resistance, cardiovascular and flexibility training.

Take today for example - I finished training clients pretty early, so I thought I'd take advantage of my daytime freetime to run some wedding errands at the mall. Then, I thought I'd have plenty of time at home to create some step moves for my class tomorrow - you know, have my own little class by myself at home.

Well, 11am turned into 1pm, then all of a sudden, it was 3:45pm when I started heading up 75 to go home. I'd shoe-shopped and bra-shopped until I almost dropped. Zero energy leftover for any sort of step routine, and not too much brain work leftover for my usual evening computer time.

My point is that every day is different. Every body is different. Some days you make it to the gym. Some days you squeeze in some yoga. Some days you walk with a friend. Some days you train for a 1/2 marathon. Some days you rest. Some days you shop for shoes and bras until your legs ache.

Like I encouraged a client recently: View physical fitness as a combination of all physical activity - working, playing, errands, "exercising". Add up those things to see how you are feeling strength/endurance/flexibility-wise. Then, tweak your "exercise" training where necessary to feel balanced, and of course, Listen to Your Body.

Be Kind to Your Body

When it comes to my personal training philosophies, I'm rarely a whistleblower. If you can do without the infamous drill sargeant bossiness of a fitness leader, I am your woman! I like to call myself a gentle personal trainer. But, inevitably, when I tell people what I do for a living, they sometimes open their eyes wide, then point to a body part, then furrow their eyebrows, and finally say, "Can you help me get rid of this?"


Okay, I'll be a whistleblower now. And, I won't be responding with a "Drop and give me 50!" Instead, I might say, "First, it's impossible to spot reduce, and Second, let's be work on being nicer to your body before we try changing it."


Anyone who's well-read in fitness plans and diets might know what I'm talking about. And, even if you've curiously browsed all the new year resolution books currently piled high in the front of bookstores knows an inkling of what I'm talking about too. Whether it's low-carb, low-calorie, Pilates, medicine balls, running programs, the list goes on and on.... So many different ways and options to get lean, tone, trim, firm, skinny, fit, gorgeous, young, and the list goes on again....


I even saw a magazine (currently on the stands as of last night) advertise a claim to "get fit and lose fat" without exercise, diets or gym memberships! Well, they caught my eye! I opened to to discover their philosophy to (in-a-nutshell) only do housework or yardwork or shop. While I wholeheartedly believe that playing with the dog, painting a room, spreading mulch, raking leaves, unloading a dishwasher and dancing with a broom are ALL fabulous ways of physical activity, what about cardiovascular health training, balancing your muscles through resistance training, balance training, flexibility training, and mindful core training?


So, while I'm not a whistleblowing "Drop and give me 50 MORE after you run 10 laps" trainer, and while I'm not an advocate of "dancing with your broom for five minutes will be plenty, darling, but don't forget to skip all carbs" - squeeze my training philosophy somewhere in the middle secured with lots of "love your body first" reminders.


Yes, you do need your cardiovascular health training, resistance training, core/balance training and flexibility training. And, guess what, that can be fit into one workout in less than an hour, or it can be broken up into bits throughout your week. But, before we tackle the exercise, let's talk about the "Can you get rid of this?" interrogation.


First, give me the benefit of the doubt, take a deep inhale, and when you're ready to try something new, read on.... If I can hand you one piece of magic, of bliss, I'd be delighted. It requires an open mind and patience. It is simply, "Be kind to your body. Be kind because your body will respond with love once you open up to listening, respecting and loving your body."


Wanna know how? Email me for specific questions, and/or look out for suggestions in my next post!

New Year - New You?

Happy 2009! Are you ready to feel fit and strong? Do you feel balanced? Do you need some guidance in a particular area of exercise? My 2 cents:

First, this is a Journey: Just because it's January doesn't mean you have to be drastic. Just because it's January doesn't mean you have to sign up for a marathon or a new restrictive diet plan to "undo" the holidays. Take it one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time.

Back to the Basics - Food as Fuel: Balance your diet, hydrate your body with fresh water. If you need deeper nutrition advice, please let me know. I'm happy to give you some basic guidance or steer you toward a great dietician!

Move Your Body - Cross Train: Consistently include resistance training, consistently include *enjoyable* cardiovascular exercise, consistently include flexibility training, and get some solid dreamland time (aka: sleep!).

I know that may sound like a lot. And, do you see the pattern of "consistence"? We're talking consistence, not obsessiveness or perfection. There's a difference. And, if it sounds overwhelming, perhaps some healthy habits need to become a part of your regular schedule. And/or, perhaps you might want to be educated more about cross training or a balanced diet. Then, the exercise, balanced eating and regular sleep aren't so daunting when including the rest of your daily activities!

You can read some previous blogs to gain an understanding of "just how much" exercise you need depending on your age and state of health. Or, email me if you have questions regarding ways to balance out your physical exercise. I'm happy to help! caroline@mybodyflow.com

Cheers to a healthy lifestyle in 2009!!