Seek Movement for the Right Reasons

I recently received the following email from a woman I'll call Jane.

Okay, exercise. Here's how I feel:
For every time I overeat or indulge, it feels like I can literally feel the poundage being added to my body! Exercise is an outlet, but it's also a way of feeling good and feeling in shape. But when I don't exercise, the exercise Nazi shows up and berates me for my laziness! My routine is important to me, but when I see myself having this type of reaction when I don't exercise, I realize it's not necessarily healthy. Also, confession. The days when I don't exercise, I try to eat less -- not quite restrict, but I def. make a conscious effort to try and not add excess calories. Lately around Joseph (the boyfriend), I feel very self conscious that I've put on weight. With my family back in town for the holidays, we have a lot more meals, have dessert with every meal, and indulge a lot more. When I was eating on my own schedule, I wouldn't eat if I wasn't hungry. Now, I eat cause it's dinner, and it's not always the food that I would choose for myself, or food that I feel good about eating. Like last Thursday - we had this cream sauce lasagna covered in cheese that my sister made. Then we had ice cream sundaes. I haven't been eating in excess, but having a meal like that makes me feel HEAVY! So there's got to be a balance between the extremes there - between not having any, and being able to enjoy some. And then ofcourse, wishing I could just eat "normally" - go out for chinese food with the rest of my family without becoming anxious about the calories involved.
And getting back to the place where exercise feels good, and not like a punishment. I'm interested in your take given that you work with people on the exercise/body front.
Thanks for your eyes!

I prefer to preface by saying I am not a therapist - I am a certified personal trainer who has battled her own exercise/body/food wars and who intends to find peace everyday through a therapeutic journey consisting of various personal routes of self care. If you've visited my blog before, you know my theme has become "self care"! If you've visited my blog before, you also know that I like to recommend therapists and nutritionists, etc. etc. etc. Please email me for referrals - carolineflow@gmail.com - If you want my personal response/feedback as a fitness/movement trainer who has found peace through movement, keep on reading!

I pasted this message from Jane because I think it's a common challenge. I also know Jane personally, so I know where she is on her journey. Please keep that in mind as I share my perspective, especially with the food advice. I only had a few minutes to write back, and it's about my bedtime tonight, but here's my take:

Jane,
While it's so hard, and it will take time to realize, your body truly takes care of itself more than you can imagine. I would be more concerned with eating emotionally regardless if it's, say, carrots v. cream-covered lasagna. I know carrots are less "body fat" threatening, but your body doesn't know that. It'll eat either one, then be full longer with the lasagna. So, there's the wisdom of the body.

A) Try not to label foods as good or bad. Chocolate, lasagna, brussel sprouts and pinto beans are all just food. I would say give yourself permission to all of it - but for a healthy, well-rounded diet that your body can perform on best, I'd say aim to eat the basics to nourish/sustain/fuel your body (veggies, dairy, whole grains, lean meats, healthy fats like nuts and olive oil) about 80-85% of your day/week, then the leftover 15-20% can be for the more processed/rich/tasty-treats that are more like to tingle your tastebuds than anything else!

B) About movement/exercise: Kudos to you, Jane, for recognizing that you might be using or viewing exercise in an unhealthy way. Sounds like you know the difference and need to work on being mindful about exercise and being kinder to yourself. Seek movement for the right reasons. Do it because it makes you feel good, strong, fit, revived, refreshed, light, energetic. If you do it to "burn calories", well, it'll take a hell of a lot of exercise to burn off a binge, so it's not even worth going down that thinking or doing path. You're better off putting that energy into thinking about what set you off to eat too much and/or taking care of yourself in the most loving way possible....And, as always, if you eat more than normal, just let your body catch up. Eat the next time you are hungry. And, if your family is having another LARGE meal, you never have to eat as much as they're serving you.

Post this note on your desk space "Seek movement for the right reasons" - Then, we can talk about some actual movement that can fit into your busy days better - so you can feel energetic, you can rest well at night, and you can still be as fit as you can be. ;)

C) Boundaries. Holidays are so heavy with family/friend obligations. Give yourself the gift of being mindful in how much you'll give and with whom you're sharing your energy and time.

Stay tuned as I write more to Jane about different ways to move to suit her moods, energy and time - as well as various routes of self care. Thanks for reading and staying in touch!

Getting in Your Body

Last time I wrote, I recommended the 10-minute rule. Keep that tip in mind, but I think I forgot to mention an important thought!

We want to exercise for many reasons: mental clarity, bone density, muscle endurance and strength, stress relief, the end-of-the-day exhale, and sometimes (hopefully, most of the time) for just plain fun!

However, if you sometimes or always lean toward exercise - or more intense exercise than your body needs - due to guilt, anxiety (over not skipping a workout), and/or to purge calories, take a step back. Besides being sick with a fever/aches, those are the most important reasons not to exercise. If your reason to exercise includes those listed above, take a moment to be kinder to yourself.

Your body knows best. Sometimes it takes a while to "get in your body" and let go of unhealthy reasons to exercise. And, yes, it can take years, but when you're dedicated, each day brings new insight!

The Rules v. Getting in Your Body
The Rules: Even the experts can only guesstimate how much exercise each person requires. If you have a desk job, you might need more than 30 minutes three times a week. If you have three kids, two dogs, and serve as the maid/cook/mower/clown/gardner, you might very well be getting in enough exercise naturally. If you have a sales job and travel city to city, it can be downright difficult to commit to a gym in one city.

Getting in Your Body: With all variables aside, let's practice tuning into your energy. Some weeks are emotionally draining. Some days are jam packed with meetings and appointments, it's downright impossible to make it to your favorite 7pm Cardio Salsa class. Some weeks are filled with free time, that could very well provide two-three-four hours of workout time (too much!). Some days, your body feels like sludge due to the past two days' workouts.

Then, sometimes you need grounding through yoga and/or resistance training. Sometimes you need to shake out buzzy energy through aerobics or running/walking. Sometimes you need that Pilates class to help remind you of the strength of your gut. Sometimes you need to inhale the greenery during a peaceful hike.

Might sound like a lot of information, a lot of learning, a lot of listening, but it's so worth it. Aim to discover what works best for you, your body, on a daily basis. As always, one day at a time. We can all create a healthy balance by listening, stumbling, getting back up, listening again, and honoring the body's messages. Treat your body kindly - forget exercise as a chore or punishment. Your body knows best and will take care of you - all the energy you feed it, and all the energy you expend. Your body can handle it beautifully. Trust it.

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And, you know what? I wrote this tonight because I tuned into my body, and it said, "You need quiet time tonight." I've definitely battled the guilt before and wanted to "stay on track" - oh yeah, I've been there. But, I'm to the point that peace and mindfulness are way more important. And, being kind to myself feels good. It's not so foreign.

Atlanta's beaming with 70 degree temperatures this week - absolutely glorious outside. I actually ended training clients earlier than I usually do on Thursdays, but the past two weeks have been challenging in many ways. So, I could have forced myself on a walk or taken a great hip-hop step class. But, I needed this down time. I took a shower and slipped into my pajamas at 7pm. What a treat!

I'm finally at a place that I feel peace over the last two weeks' chaos - those darn life curveballs. But, now I can exhale. How great to read, and write, and reflect, and let my body, my self, rest in the quiet.