Find Freedom in the Fat-Fear Frenzy

There's something about fruitcake and frosty weather that sends us into a Fat-Fear Frenzy. We tend to eat too much fruitcake, and we stay figuratively frozen inside our homes and bodies because it's too darn cold outside to play. Because we're inside and snuggled up, we decide to eat even more fruitcake (a little here, a little there) because we disconnect from the neck down and don't know what our bodies, or legs, or arms, or hips, or hearts really want.

Then, we hear the radio ads and watch the tv commercials about the inevitable holiday weight gain, and the fat-fear frenzy nearly eats us alive. Swallow this pill, sip that herbal tea, gulp this shake! Buy the latest "toning" contraption, use it for two days, then let it collect dust in your garage for the next five years until you move. Those fat-fear messages can make us hold our breath and lock up our bodies in angst, and it can nearly trick us into thinking that just looking at fruitcake can kill.

But, I refuse to buy into the fat fear, and so should you. That's old stuff. Just because it's the holidays doesn't mean you should put your body and breath on a shelf and come back to it January 1, 2011. Don't wait -- Listen to your body now.

Love Yourself
(and your tastebuds.) I know what you were thinking above, "Well, I don't eat fruitcake." Okay, I don't either, but some do, so fill in the blank with whatever salty or sweet treat you love. Then, enjoy it in moderation. On a plate in front of people -- not secretly sneaking it in the kitchen when no one's looking. And, if you don't dig it, don't eat it! Aunt Myrtle might serve up a colorful spread, but listen to your body to see what texture/taste and portion your body really wants and needs. Just because it's the holidays doesn't mean you should feel stuffed. But, you know what? It is the holiday season, so if you overindulge once or twice, forgive yourself and let it go. Lastly, when your belly and tastebuds are satisfied, fill yourself up in other ways -- take a nap, get crafty with wrapping gifts, write in your journal, call an old friend, or tune into how your body might want to MOVE:


Move Your Body
Commit to carve out time in your busy holiday schedule for regular physical activity -- not to burn calories -- but to make yourself feel alive and energetic and joyful. You don't have to kill yourself. Move for the right reasons. You'll sleep better and respect what your body's saying when you stay connected. If you're not a regular exerciser, that's okay. Start now -- tune into your breath, and practice letting your body tell you what it needs: flow in yoga, shake it in a dance class, walk and discover your neighborhood, push-pull your muscles via weight training, play fetch with your pup. And, to get ahead of those who wait until January 1, go ahead and try a new class (and get your spot!) before the January crowds get too thick!

Live Free
Promise yourself that instead of strict new year's resolutions, you'll stay true to you. Instead of all-or-nothing, black/white thinking, seek the middle of the road. Eat when you are hungry, rest when you are tired. Make exercise less competitive -- let your body lead you in movement. Write in your journal what you really, really, really want every single day (an Elizabeth Gilbert life/love writing exercise). Be with your feelings knowing that feelings don't kill you. Give trust and truth a chance. Treat yourself with kindness. Breathe.

And, finally, to quote Geneen Roth in Women, Food and God ~
‘Trust the process, trust your longing for freedom…Every time a woman aligns her eating with relaxation, every time she takes off her damn boots, the laces fly open for the rest of us.”

Fat Talk Free Week (and what do you really feel?)

I just received a Facebook message that reads:

October 13, 2008
Fat Talk Free Week
NEDA has partnered with the National Organization for Women (NOW), the Academy for Eating Disorders (AED), Seventeen magazine, and the Oxford University Press to promote the five day Fat Talk Free Week Promise. There are many ways to get involved. Find out how by clicking here: http://bodyimageprogram.org/action/fattalkfreeweek/.

In a nutshell, steer clear of "fat talk" this week - in it's place do something aiming for a positive body image. I'm all for it!

But, I'll add something you can do for yourself:

Steer clear of "fat talk", and in its place, practice "feeling talk". If you have the urge to "feel fat" but realize it's a no-no this week, practice tuning into what that "feeling fat" is really telling you. Some examples:

"I feel fat" could really mean:
"I feel too big, too much, too sensitive, too emotional, too smart, too dumb, too average, too bossy, too quiet, too stressed, too anxious, too tired, too MAD, too sad," and the list goes on...

Grab your journal, and when an "I feel fat" thought pops up, dig deeper. Write about what's happening in your life, write what stresses you, write what floats around in your head, write about the guilt you carry, write the burdens you're bearing, write about the decision you're trying to make, write about your roommate/partner/friend/colleague who drives you bonkers, write your deepest desires and fears.

If you get stuck, write about anything that comes to mind. Let it flow. And, if it becomes too much to handle on your own, open yourself up to a professional who is very familiar with the "fat talk", someone who can help you sift through to the richer stuff.

Give yourself the gift of freedom from fat talk. Get to the root of it, see what's behind "fat".