On Meditating...(and changing/fixing/transcending or finding plain peace)

In the book Women Food and God by Geneen Roth, her phrase on presence that I believe applies to us all -- yoginis or not -- appears on page 112 and 113:
"Usually, when people hear the word meditation, they think of transcending this clunky earthly plane. The kind of meditation I refer to has nothing to do with transcending or leaving or changing yourself in any way -- and everything to do with its opposite: showing up where you already are."

How beautiful. Stop fixing and/or changing yourself, and show up as you already are. At work in a boring meeting. In your car behind a slowpoke. In line at the post office. During a dance class or exhilarating run. Or in the middle of an addiction or struggle. Show up. Be present. Take it all in. Yes, just being where you are, clearing your mind, absorbing what you're doing, and not wishing time (or your thighs) away all count as meditation. You will benefit in ways you can't really control or imagine.

I used to get so irritated at the thought of sitting on a pillow before an altar and meditating. It made me want to scream and run and roll my eyes -- I had no intention of transcending. Life is short enough, I needed some holy EARTHINESS in my body with my loved ones, not to float in the clouds. I'd escaped my body too many times before. I needed earthly presence with peace.

So, before I read Geneen's new book, and while I was immersed in a yoga training, I decided to make peace with this thing called meditation. Sometimes I'd have a movement meditation while taking a great class or doing my own asana practice. Sometimes (okay, occasionally) I'd have a cooking meditation. Sometimes, I'd have a driving meditation. Many times a walking meditation, a bathtub meditation, and a mat meditation. The idea was to clear my head of the running thoughts that go something like this:

I should have checked the stove before I left the house; did the door shut completely?; am I going to hit the deadline?; what if I ask for an extra day -- will they think I'm slacking?; who cares what they think?; if the kitty gets out, I will never forgive myself; if the house burns with Nick still sleeping, I'll just die; God, we need to paint the shutters...

See what I mean? Those are the thoughts we can let go. Sometimes it just takes a little tweaking perspective. While India's a lovely place, and having a spiritual awakening during your committed pillow/floor/quiet time is nothing short of holy, we don't have to be so hard on ourselves. We can start now. All we really have to do is show up.

~ Namaste

If you've ever dieted one time too many, or if tell yourself ugly thoughts when looking in a mirror, you might just eat up this book. For more information about Women Food and God, visit: http://www.womenfoodandgod.com/

If you're interested in private yoga or personal training sessions, write me: caroline@mybodyflow.com

America the Beautiful - the movie

America's obsessed with beauty. That's what Darryl Roberts, the film's producer, projects in his film America the Beautiful. Great trailer: http://www.americathebeautifuldoc.com/ Watch it through the end to hear Eve Ensler say: "Stop fixing your body, it was never broken."

When?

Wednesday, October 22 at 7pm
Thursday, October 23 at 7pm

Where?

Midtown Art Cinema, Atlanta (corner of Monroe Dr. and Virginia Ave.)
http://www.landmarktheatres.com/Market/Atlanta/Atlanta_Frameset.htm

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I remembered that EDIN http://www.myedin.org/ sent me this movie heads-up via email a few days ago, but I was in a hurry and didn't watch the trailer until this afternoon. From what the trailer shows, we're once again reminded that it's much easier to focus/obsess/fix/control/manipulate the surface issues instead of digging deeper. And, in my business of personal training, I have to not only practice what I preach but also help my clients dig deeper to be in their bodies more.

It is a journey. Thinking with your gut, moving with your wisdom deep inside. It is a challenge to jump beyond the "I feel fat" thoughts into to "what's really going on?, what am I feeling?, what do I really need?" paths of thinking and being.

I hope we can all aim to dig deeper. Next time you have a "fat thought" or any other thought (ex: "my hips are too broad", "my calves are too skinny", "I'm just not good enough ever"), take a deep breath to sense the feelings underneath - boredom, anger, terror, frustration, jealousy, rage, confusion, excitement, sadness, etc. How can you go there, feel what you need to feel, then make the appropriate changes to accept some things and move forward with other things?

Yes, it's all so complex, and it can take some time (and many times with the great help of a professional), but it gets sooooo much easier. The real journey of digging deeper is so full of wonder. Much richer than "America's standard of physical of beauty". Try it.

Fat Talk Free Week (and what do you really feel?)

I just received a Facebook message that reads:

October 13, 2008
Fat Talk Free Week
NEDA has partnered with the National Organization for Women (NOW), the Academy for Eating Disorders (AED), Seventeen magazine, and the Oxford University Press to promote the five day Fat Talk Free Week Promise. There are many ways to get involved. Find out how by clicking here: http://bodyimageprogram.org/action/fattalkfreeweek/.

In a nutshell, steer clear of "fat talk" this week - in it's place do something aiming for a positive body image. I'm all for it!

But, I'll add something you can do for yourself:

Steer clear of "fat talk", and in its place, practice "feeling talk". If you have the urge to "feel fat" but realize it's a no-no this week, practice tuning into what that "feeling fat" is really telling you. Some examples:

"I feel fat" could really mean:
"I feel too big, too much, too sensitive, too emotional, too smart, too dumb, too average, too bossy, too quiet, too stressed, too anxious, too tired, too MAD, too sad," and the list goes on...

Grab your journal, and when an "I feel fat" thought pops up, dig deeper. Write about what's happening in your life, write what stresses you, write what floats around in your head, write about the guilt you carry, write the burdens you're bearing, write about the decision you're trying to make, write about your roommate/partner/friend/colleague who drives you bonkers, write your deepest desires and fears.

If you get stuck, write about anything that comes to mind. Let it flow. And, if it becomes too much to handle on your own, open yourself up to a professional who is very familiar with the "fat talk", someone who can help you sift through to the richer stuff.

Give yourself the gift of freedom from fat talk. Get to the root of it, see what's behind "fat".