Root and Cleanse Breathwork

How are you doing? Have you truly checked in lately? Or, have you been dashing full speed ahead, feeling a little frantic trying to finish all your holiday and end-of-the-year lists? Well, unfortunately, I'd say I've been a bit of a frantic dasher lately (at least in my mind).

I love the holiday season, it has been truly merry, but I'm starting to feel some side effects: A little headache here and there, a craving for chocolate (everyday - which means I really need rest/balance, not more holiday desserts), and a very messy desk with duplicate to-do/to-buy lists!

I mentioned my computer virus in my last blog, and what a job it's been to regroup and get organized again - so I'll blame my disarray on that nasty virus. But, however I can blame the messiness, I still feel behind, and I feel the Not-Good-Enough Devil poking up her ugly head. Are you familiar with her voice? It goes something like this:

*Your holiday cards are waiting to be signed, sealed and delivered!

*You have more parties and commitments!

*You haven't finished your gift shopping and wrapping!

*Don't forget to analyze and organize your finances before the new year!

*You need to vacuum!

*You need to fold your laundry more than 2x/month! (haha)

*You need to give yourself some down time!

*You need to give your kitty more attention!

*You need a bubble bath, but watch how much water you use!

*You need to go treat yourself to a new class to learn and enjoy!

*You need to finish your Vision Board for 2009!

AHHH! Yikes. Some of the voices have good intentions, but sometimes it's so much! Again, it's that "Not-Good-Enough" pressure that gets me everytime. So, I have to remind myself that it will get done. The important things will meet their deadlines - so what if my holiday cards arrive in mailboxes three weeks later than anticipated.

Overall, I can keep things in perspective when those nagging voices arise, but just like you, I have to work on balancing myself and centering myself. Here's a simple piece of breathwork you can use to ground yourself. Although this is best done either sitting in Easy Pose (sensing your sitting bones rooted to the Earth) or standing on both feet hip-width apart (sensing all four corners of your feet rooted into the Earth), you can also do this while eating, driving, waiting in line, etc.

Take a few moments to close your eyes, breathe deeply, and imagine being rooted to the Earth. Think about the abundance and sturdiness of the ground, the Earth. The water, the soil, the plants, the layers of the planet all supporting you and providing you support and sustenance.

Now, with each inhale, imagine drawing up a healing breath from the ground. Imagine the breath entering where you're sitting or standing, entering your body, traveling up your body, entering your limbs, your core, your veins, your blood, your skin, and all your cells. Imagine any sense of healing (physically, emotionally or spiritually) being drawn from our great Earth and entering your body, your spirit. Take the healing breath to any area of your body that needs it the most. Now, take the healing breath to any part of your Self that needs it the most.

When you exhale, imagine the breath traveling back down and out your body, back into the Earth, into the soil to be recycled, rejuvenated and birthed into something healthy and nourishing. Whatever you need to release, send it with your exhale. This might be a nagging thought or voice, it might be doubt/anger/guilt/worry/fear/addictions. Mindfully exhale the toxic parts of yourself that weigh you down. Release them with love. Release them and allow them to pass, to sleep, to renew, to change, to blossom into goodness on its own time.

Continue inhaling the Good. Let it cleanse you. Continue exhaling the Waste. As it exits, imagine more room for good, more room for renewal and growth and hope and light to enter your body with each breath.

Namaste.

As always, feel free to email me for more breathwork or other suggestions (caroline@mybodyflow.com), and I'm always happy to point you in the right direction. Happy Holidays!

Fudgy Cornbread

I never claim to be a cook. Here I am trying to make cornbread. According to the directions, I was to use a 9x9 baking dish. Well, I have an 8x8 square dish and the heart-shaped dish above which varies in size all around, but I don't have a 9x9. I figured the heart would be a nice compromise. But, after the 27 minutes of required baking, it looked pretty on top, but it looked like pudding in the middle. Yikes.


So, we baked it a little longer, ate some crust off the top each time we opened the oven, baked it a little longer, kept wondering if we could swallow fudgy cornbread, baked it a little longer, and kept wondering if we should just slice off the top and eat the crust.


The cornbread kept rising. So did my hair. That's why included these pictures - the guys from my step class would have been horrified at the frizz. Oh well. The cornbread finally baked all the way through. Just a little doughy in the middle, but I figured those pieces would be microwaved the next day, and therefore, cooked more.


The Boyfriend and I feasted on spicy venison stew (so I kept pouring milk for my on-fire taste buds) and Bob's Red Mill ever-rising cornbread (geez, soooo good!). We were starving, and I definitely ate past my comfortable point. Whoopsy-Daisy!


Do you ever struggle with recognizing your satiety - finding that comfortable "satisfied - but not stuffed" level? It can be a challenge, especially if you've experienced many diet/binge periods. Many times, it requires balancing listening to your body and practicing some portion control. And, in the area of measurements and portions, I'm an advocate of flexibility. But, what a great idea to be educated and have a general idea of what your body needs and can manage to function properly in regards to nutrients and portions.


Do you ever struggle with becoming over-hungry - then eating too much at dinner because you feel famished? Do you remember to take portable, healthy snacks with you while you're living and being active?


While shopping for my niece and nephew at Borders this afternoon, I was browsing cookbooks since they were on sale, and I came upon Tosca Reno's "The Eat Clean Diet Cookbook". I've read about her books while browsing some fitness magazines - those that I usually walk away from buying as soon as I happen upon a ridiculous Hydroxycut ad. But, I was pleasantly surprised while browsing her books - clean, clear, up front, reasonable, manageable and nonrestrictive.


I believe we'll continue to see a move more and more toward healthy/clean/organic eating. And, while I am not talking about "dieting", I am talking about living. How can you function your best? How can you live through your days with your best energy? What changes do you need to make? And, how can you take care of yourself in healthy, supportive ways to get where you want to go?


Personally, I need to prepare myself better with snacks in the car so I'm not starving by the time I get home because by that time, I could eat a horse, a pig, a chicken and a cow all at once! Good thing, I've never had an appetite for my cat!


Seriously though, I tend to get hungrier sooner than I think, so even though I'm mobile and always pretty close to home, I think it's time for me to invest in new Tupperware, some Sunday chopping of veggies and packing snack bags, and possibly a new little cooler. Just a few more things to add to my 2010 wish-for-myself list.


It's been a long week after a weekend funeral, a computer virus that wiped out my system, and a growing-never-ending-December to-do list. But, I'll write more to encourage setting mindful intentions for the new year...I know it's coming up, but I'm happy to have this month to think about what I want/need for myself for next year. I hope you are too.


Feel free to write with any questions about Tosca Reno's book or any other questions/suggestions you might have. caroline@mybodyflow.com As always, I'm happy to answer questions, keep them confidential, and I'm always happy to refer readers to dieticians and therapists to help who might help you along your journey. ;)

'Tis the Season - What's on Your Wish List?

Dear Santa,
Here's my wishlist:
*yoga everyday
*walk-in closet filled with lululemon
*peace & faith for everyone
*a house in Ansley Park
*my own movement studio
*healthy body, healthy spirit
*opportunities to learn & give thanks
*supportive people and environments
*weekly manicures
*mindfulness

(that's a simple sample of my wishes - the rest is too personal to post!)


The weekend before Thanksgiving, The Boyfriend and I drove to East Tennessee to visit my great-grandfather. Holiday music popped up on every other station, especially as we got further into the mountains. Change the channel, too soon for ho-ho-ho. On Thanksgiving Day, as we drove to Alpharetta for a turkey feast, Atlanta's lite rock station 98.5 started to jingle bells too. Change the channel again, too soon to fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-lahhhhhh.

Now I can say 'tis the season - I'm finally listening to holiday music! I even "pre-shopped" yesterday afternoon during my downtime, and I took advantage of those sales at Niketown today. On my drive home tonight, I tried to soak in as much holiday energy as possible - the twinkling lights on the streets, the classic Santa drinking Coca-Cola billboard overlooking the downtown connector, the two lots selling Christmas trees within a mile of each other, and more twinkling lights on my neighbors' balconies.

While showering and thinking about preparing for my long day tomorrow, I was listening to Delilah on 98.5. A listener called describing one Christmas Eve he answered a knock at his front door - he was supposed to be in bed, but he was too excited like all children on that magical night. He opened the door and found Santa Claus! The real Santa with a real beard, who towered above him and asked the boy why he was not in bed. The listener said he raced upstairs as Santa wished, and he remembers that as one of his warmest memories.

Year after year, I remember going to our evening church service on Christmas Eve, then coming home for a warm dinner, eating in the dining room with Mom's china, enjoying chocolate mousse in a wine glass (a way for us kids to feel so fancy and grown up!), then exchanging gifts among my immediate family. After we cleaned up all the wrapping paper, ribbons and bows, bedtime rolled around.

But, for a gal who can still fall asleep way too early, my eyes wouldn't close. My sister and I would sleep together in one of her twin beds, whispering in the dark, wondering if we could hear footsteps on our roof. We never heard the footsteps, somehow we managed to drift off into a sleepy wonderland and wake up to Santa's gifts in the family den in front of the fireplace. What a magical time!

And, as the years have gone by, as our immediate family grew, and in a way grew apart, I've sometimes let the magical season breeze by. My holiday wish list has grown shorter, and sometimes more energy went into holiday parties than my own true meanings of the season. I spent enough holidays working at CNN, and last minute gift buying has taught me a lesson or two about preparing early, setting limits on exchanging gifts, and being happy with the present (figuratively, and well, I suppose literally too!).

I want to slow down this year, I want to browse the stores decorated with holiday gear, I want to feel the energy of people gathering with loved ones to celebrate the season. I want to breathe deeper while sitting idle in Atlanta traffic. I want to wrap gifts early and enjoy the paper's sparkle in my living room before I give them away. I also want to make my own list. A new list of wishful and possible thinking.

Hello, Santa, are you listening?

As my high school English teacher Betty Fleming used to say when students would whine while reading a story, "that's not possible", suspend your disbelief with me for a few minutes. Whether you celebrate Christmas or not, take a few moments to imagine Santa as you know him. Or her. Whatever being that gives, that provides, that blesses you. How would you like to receive? What would you like to receive?

Take a few moments to write a wish list. Suspend your disbelief that it will never happen, suspend your disbelief that you don't deserve it. Write a wish list of all the things (concrete and abstract) that you'd like to have. A trip, a new career path, an education, a break from your kids, a weekly class, more faith, more time to stretch your body, a day reading juicy fiction, weekly romantic dates to new restaurants, a new wardrobe, a new home, fresh flowers daily, etc.

Then, re-read your list and imagine waking up one morning having all that granted to you. Feel the joy, feel the excitement. Imagine feeling you deserve all that! Imagine feeling many of your wishes are possible! Knowing there's a reason and season for everything, why not find a way to eventually enjoy your wish list? It'll take some work and honesty about when-where-why-how, but stay mindful and hopeful, and just do it. Perhaps your Santa can visit you throughout 2009 and beyond!

'Tis the season for magic. 'Tis the season for wishing. 'Tis the season for making it happen!

Seek Movement for the Right Reasons

I recently received the following email from a woman I'll call Jane.

Okay, exercise. Here's how I feel:
For every time I overeat or indulge, it feels like I can literally feel the poundage being added to my body! Exercise is an outlet, but it's also a way of feeling good and feeling in shape. But when I don't exercise, the exercise Nazi shows up and berates me for my laziness! My routine is important to me, but when I see myself having this type of reaction when I don't exercise, I realize it's not necessarily healthy. Also, confession. The days when I don't exercise, I try to eat less -- not quite restrict, but I def. make a conscious effort to try and not add excess calories. Lately around Joseph (the boyfriend), I feel very self conscious that I've put on weight. With my family back in town for the holidays, we have a lot more meals, have dessert with every meal, and indulge a lot more. When I was eating on my own schedule, I wouldn't eat if I wasn't hungry. Now, I eat cause it's dinner, and it's not always the food that I would choose for myself, or food that I feel good about eating. Like last Thursday - we had this cream sauce lasagna covered in cheese that my sister made. Then we had ice cream sundaes. I haven't been eating in excess, but having a meal like that makes me feel HEAVY! So there's got to be a balance between the extremes there - between not having any, and being able to enjoy some. And then ofcourse, wishing I could just eat "normally" - go out for chinese food with the rest of my family without becoming anxious about the calories involved.
And getting back to the place where exercise feels good, and not like a punishment. I'm interested in your take given that you work with people on the exercise/body front.
Thanks for your eyes!

I prefer to preface by saying I am not a therapist - I am a certified personal trainer who has battled her own exercise/body/food wars and who intends to find peace everyday through a therapeutic journey consisting of various personal routes of self care. If you've visited my blog before, you know my theme has become "self care"! If you've visited my blog before, you also know that I like to recommend therapists and nutritionists, etc. etc. etc. Please email me for referrals - carolineflow@gmail.com - If you want my personal response/feedback as a fitness/movement trainer who has found peace through movement, keep on reading!

I pasted this message from Jane because I think it's a common challenge. I also know Jane personally, so I know where she is on her journey. Please keep that in mind as I share my perspective, especially with the food advice. I only had a few minutes to write back, and it's about my bedtime tonight, but here's my take:

Jane,
While it's so hard, and it will take time to realize, your body truly takes care of itself more than you can imagine. I would be more concerned with eating emotionally regardless if it's, say, carrots v. cream-covered lasagna. I know carrots are less "body fat" threatening, but your body doesn't know that. It'll eat either one, then be full longer with the lasagna. So, there's the wisdom of the body.

A) Try not to label foods as good or bad. Chocolate, lasagna, brussel sprouts and pinto beans are all just food. I would say give yourself permission to all of it - but for a healthy, well-rounded diet that your body can perform on best, I'd say aim to eat the basics to nourish/sustain/fuel your body (veggies, dairy, whole grains, lean meats, healthy fats like nuts and olive oil) about 80-85% of your day/week, then the leftover 15-20% can be for the more processed/rich/tasty-treats that are more like to tingle your tastebuds than anything else!

B) About movement/exercise: Kudos to you, Jane, for recognizing that you might be using or viewing exercise in an unhealthy way. Sounds like you know the difference and need to work on being mindful about exercise and being kinder to yourself. Seek movement for the right reasons. Do it because it makes you feel good, strong, fit, revived, refreshed, light, energetic. If you do it to "burn calories", well, it'll take a hell of a lot of exercise to burn off a binge, so it's not even worth going down that thinking or doing path. You're better off putting that energy into thinking about what set you off to eat too much and/or taking care of yourself in the most loving way possible....And, as always, if you eat more than normal, just let your body catch up. Eat the next time you are hungry. And, if your family is having another LARGE meal, you never have to eat as much as they're serving you.

Post this note on your desk space "Seek movement for the right reasons" - Then, we can talk about some actual movement that can fit into your busy days better - so you can feel energetic, you can rest well at night, and you can still be as fit as you can be. ;)

C) Boundaries. Holidays are so heavy with family/friend obligations. Give yourself the gift of being mindful in how much you'll give and with whom you're sharing your energy and time.

Stay tuned as I write more to Jane about different ways to move to suit her moods, energy and time - as well as various routes of self care. Thanks for reading and staying in touch!