Move, Breathe, Be Free

I'm taking a yoga teacher training that's, well, much more demanding and intense than I'd imagined. I'm truly enjoying it, and when I say demanding and intense, I don't mean to conjure up the idea of a dry teacher forcing us into pretzel poses. We've got reading/writing homework, a service project, long training weekends, weekly classes, daily meditations and movement series to create, etc. And, mostly, there's breathwork. Breathwork that slows you down, that takes you into yourself. It helps to guide you to your wholeness, your sense of strength or God or whatever you wanna call it.

While I'm just now taking this yoga training, I've been teaching movement for 10+ years and taking/teaching yoga for about four years. More and more so, when beginning with a new client, I suggest working on a little breathwork at first. Sometimes clients jump aboard, and tears flow or inspiration hits. Sometimes folks are too antsy, or sometimes it just feels weird and unnatural to practice breathing. And, sometimes breathing makes us feel. A lot. Sometimes too much. Or so we think.

That's why my yoga training can be so much work! It slows me down and the feelings can overflow! Breathing makes you feel - ecstatic, light, joyful, grateful. It can also bring up the typical so-called yuck - fear, sadness, anger, guilt, worry. Basically, breathing brings up your truth, so it's an ongoing process. One that takes work for me Every Single Day.

I'm not a personal trainer to "kick someone's ass" or take away the jiggle. I'm motivated by a) my ongoing personal experience of finding truth within my body, and b) the little bits and huge leaps of transformation that happen when someone connects with her body, her breath and her spirit - and essentially something Greater than herself.

So, despite what the breathwork and the connection that follows might bring up for someone (though I can guarantee you it can be juicy, sometimes scary, and mostly lovely in a life-changing way), my wish is for people to find movement they enjoy; then sure, complement and support that favorite movement with other types of physical training.

Move to feel good. Don't exercise to "get it over with" or to "mark it off your list". Practice joy within movement. Practice staying present. Practice slowing down. Practice stillness. Practice making movement (or stillness) as a way to connect with your innermost sense of being alive and free.

***

It's Never About Food - It's an Inside Job

If you're the least bit interested in transforming your relationship to food, your body and your self, check out the following clip of Geneen and Annie Lamott. It's not about food, it's never been about food. It's an inside job. Enjoy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8HUl5eyljR0

Rest in Peace, City and Chloe

Writing helps to ground me. If you're into chakras, you'll know what I mean when I say I'm a root chakra kind of gal. I need rooting, grounding, nesting. I need the security of feeling strong and centered before moving forward. When I got engaged last year, I started a diary for my husband-to-be, and I told him if I get crabby or moody or crazy, to tell me to write. The other day, he told me to write.

You get my drift, huh? I've been working like a madwoman, which is not a terrible problem to have, but until the writing and rooting began again, I was forgetting about myself. And, I was forgetting about my husband, my family, myself. It's easy to give and give and give - and do and do and do - but, as I've learned lately, sometimes it's hard to give back to me.

A great teacher said on Friday "drink while you pour". Receive while you give. It's possible. It's not noble to give unconditional love to everyone else if you can't give it to yourself. I've been thinking about unconditional love lately. You might remember a while ago I wrote that our five-year-old cat and five-year-old dog had lymphoma. With this experience, I was reminded of how animals brings us back to unconditional love. Without further ado, I'd love to share how each of these beings below teach us about love.



With the intention of being grateful for what I've still got, first and foremost, here's our Easter Bunny Bowden. I took this photo 20 minutes ago before I wrote this blog entry. He refused to look at the camera, he hated the pink egg, he dared me to walk into the other room while he sniffed the Reese peanut butter eggs. We call him our Lone Ranger. Our Stoner Dog. Except for his stiff shoulders and lack of ability to do down dog, he's actually a very good yogi - he practices detachment very nicely, he eats what he wants when he wants (surprisingly, I know, it's not very much), he meditates outside a dozen times a day staring off into space not blinking an eye, and he regularly chants with his neighbors. About the unconditional love - I love our Bow-Bow. All of him - the chunks of fur that he constantly leaves in the house during shedding season, the way he gingerly takes treats from our hands, the Monday morning barking at the garbage truck backing into our driveway, and even the way he completely ignores his mom (moi) but obediently greets his dad every evening. He's our man. And now, pretty much our rock.

City the Kitty. Like anyone who owns a pet might say, this wasn't any ole cat. She was my baby. She slept with me for almost five years, she greeted me like a dog by rolling over on her back, she loved drinking water from my glass instead of her own (no, I did not drink after her - I realize how cats bathe), she loved all adults but was scared s***less of my niece and nephew (little people look weird, okay?), and despite the hisses and sharp slaps, I believe she started a secret friendship with our dog, Chloe, toward the end of her sweet life. City the Kitty went to heaven three weeks ago today. The cancer *almost* got the best of her, and we decided to let her go peacefully when she let us know it was time.

Chloe. Miss Chloe-Glowy. If you've seen Marley and Me, you know Chloe. I'm sure my husband didn't think she was a "Marley" - but I'll be really honest here, and it might be TMI for my blog, but I don't care. She loved my underwear. And my socks. And my workout gloves. And my clean, unused toilet paper on the roll. If I didn't accidentally leave underwear, socks or gloves where she could find them, she'd just take a big chunk out of the roll usually spreading the toilet paper throughout my bathroom. Then, why not, she'd just dip into my trashcan too and spread it throughout the hallway. Ask my husband, she got into something every single day. She was no dummy, she'd find something. Despite her love to tear my underwear to shreds, I loved this dog. I could say NO to her 40 times a day, and that tail would continue to wag so much I thought she was surely bruising herself while slapping it against the floor or wall. She was very codependent, very needy, very sly but also very cute and so full of love that I didn't realize how much love was in this house until she was actually gone. We had to let her go yesterday morning. Easter Morning. What a way to celebrate Life. Chloe-Glowy joined City the Kitty - I imagine them smelling each other, still feeling each other out but becoming fast friends in the gates of Bliss.

Or, perhaps they'll be reincarnated. Who really knows. The heaps of love we experienced outweighed the waves of frustration trying to merge a household of two carnivorous dogs and one often-pissy cat. And, I learned that if I could love those animals wholeheartedly - their idiosyncrasies along with their wagging tails and soft fur - and if they could love my husband and me back with that much love - then certainly that love goes on in many forms.

I guess I write this to help myself grieve, to maybe connect with someone else through these words who has experienced the same thing. More so, I want us to treat each other kindly. I want us to treat each other like we do our pets. Sure, we can have boundaries, and we don't have to let people drink out of our water glasses or wear our underwear. But, let's be kind, let's give each other a chance. Let's forgo the fluff and have real conversations, let's forgive, and let's let each other be. (Bowden, Mr. Detachment himself wrote that last phrase.)

More importantly, before one can do any of that, let's give back to ourselves. Let us pay attention to our own needs for time and space and sunshine. Let's give ourselves a break. And, for the sake of circling back to this blog's "FLOW", let's treat ourselves to a freaking cookie or two without counting the blasted calories. Let's move freely to feel our life force (aka "aliveness") versus a way to stay small and invisible (and quite frankly, dead). Let's tune into our hearts and nourish ourselves in authentic ways. Keep it simple - Be Real, Love and Breathe.

Rest in Peace, City and Chloe.

More loving, Less competing

(Wouldn't it be great if corporate meetings allowed employees to chill out in prayer pose? Off the mat, into the work-and-that-thing-called-life world...)

On Saturday morning, I took a yoga class and was handed a lovely reminder of being kind to oneself. We were moving into plow pose, adjusting our hips, relaxing tension, lengthening our spines. Then, the longer we held the pose, some scary grunts and groans sounded here and there throughout the room. Our teacher said, "Wait a minute, remember today's lesson in ahimsa - non-harming? This shouldn't hurt. Don't push or strain - be gentle with yourself."





You could feel the room relax and let go. We all stayed in plow, but the energy softened. Still full and very warm but more loving, less competing.





I love the lesson in non-harming. You can take it anywhere. Whether you're in a mat-to-mat-packed yoga class, driving in Atlanta traffic, trying to cross off your lengthy to-do list, dieting in a strict way, spending in a frivolous way, or expecting too much of yourself or someone else, it's a good reminder in being easier on yourself and others.





Sure, we can be fit as we want to be, we can make good grades, we can aim for a scorpion handstand, we can flourish in our job performance - we can accomplish the bucket list. Every once in a while, remember to do it all without harm. Set an intention, but be mindful, be gentle. And, for the heck of it, be nice. ;)

Love Your Body Month - Free Workshop

Resolve to Love Your Body in 2010:
Gain Strength, Power and Awareness
through Movement and Art!

Join Megan McSwain, MA LAPC, and Caroline Correll, fitness/movement trainer, at lululemon athletica in Buckhead on Thursday, February 18, 2010, from 6:00-8:00 p.m. for a free movement/art workshop.

Let your body and spirit do the talking. Experiment various types of movement, tune into your deep wisdom and voice, then express yourself on paper. Everyone welcome. No art/exercise/dance experience required.

Some supplies will be provided, but please bring
a yoga mat and any special art supplies.
All proceeds will be donated to EDIN.

http://www.myedin.org/

lululemon athletica Buckhead address:

3096 Roswell Road, Atlanta, GA 30305

Questions? Please contact:

Caroline Correll - caroline@mybodyflow.com - 404.210.6752

Megan McSwsain - meganmcswain@gmail.com - 404.368.6174

FYI: EDIN (Eating Disorders Information Network) is a nonprofit organization based in Atlanta dedicated to the prevention of eating disorders including anorexia, bulimia, compulsive overeating, and other forms of disordered eating through education, outreach and action. EDIN celebrates Love Your Body Month each February as a way to encourage loving your body and to promote a healthy body/self image. Please visit http://www.myedin.org/ for a full calendar of events. Additionally, Megan McSwain, an Atlanta-based art therapist, and Caroline Correll, an Atlanta-based movement/fitness trainer, have led several workshops together with the intentions of helping participants to feel comfortable, listen to their wisdom, honor their creativity and shed light upon an important cause. Megan and Caroline thank you for your support and welcome everyone!

The January Diet - How's it Going?

Oh no, it's January. And, by now, even if you barely watch tv or flip through magazines, you've really gotten a heaping gulp of what January brings:

*a carefree celebrity advertising the latest diet program on tv and radio commercials

*more magazine articles showing before/after photos of speed-based diet pills

*gyms offering cheap "dream body" deals

*diets consisting solely of green tea, protein shakes and please-no-carbs-whatsoever

*conflicting diet rules [organic/nonorganic, meat/meatless, sugar/Splenda]

*models and other "beauties" airbrushed and polished to "perfection" selling whatever....

*...and yet more celebrity trainers quite literally torturing clients on television.

Instead of telling your body what it needs, let it tell you. Wait, wait. Read that again. Instead of telling your body what it needs, let it tell you.

I can understand if that statement scares the willies out of you. You might think your body has been screaming at you for years that you should be living off of Edy's Rocky Road and Snickers bars versus counting points, calories or carbs! But, if you gave into that temptation, wouldn't you lose total control?

(no, i am whispering you will not! just keep reading!)

Food doesn't have that much power. Again - Food doesn't have that much power. (Strict and superficial exercise regimes don't have that much power either, folks!) It's everything else in life that drives you batty when attempting to control it through diet and exercise. So, instead of diving into the Edy's ice cream tub or measuring your bicep to deltoid ratio (what does that really mean anyway???), consider what's really going on in your life.

How's your breath? Are you holding it? Is it okay to take a deep breath? Is your mind racing? Do you feel "good enough"? Do you feel too big, too small? When's the last time you got quiet with yourself, just to be, or to pray? How long is your "stress list"? If you had an hour to talk about yourself in private and total confidence, what would spill out? The little things, the big things, the medium things, the random things....think about it.

Then, imagine relaxing your body, your face, your jaw, your hips; then, imagine (just totally pretend here if necessary, okay??) - imagine, everything being okay. Imagine your body being okay exactly how it is today. Imagine your financial situation being okay. Imagine your list of unknowns being totally okay and on their way to working themselves out with time and patience.

If you can imagine an instance of peace on Earth (even when things are still the same!), do you still need to dive into the Edy's tub, run solely to burn off the calories, or compete with yourself to restrict more and more? If you can imagine all your heart's desires being met, and if you were to know that everything will ultimately be okay, can you imagine relaxing enough to listen to your body?

Turn the station when a "HealthyTrim" ad dances across the radio waves. Throw away the magazine articles illustrating xxx calories for breakfast, xxx calories for lunch, xxx types of snacks. Fire a trainer who refuses to work with you if you don't follow "his" plan.

My wish for you is to practice tuning into your deepest wisdom. The deeper you look, you won't find a whole gallon of ice cream waiting to be devoured. You might see a bowl, so eat it with delight, but you'll find a much richer life when you can see beyond the surface. It's not easy, and it's not fast, and setbacks/mistakes are allowed. This isn't a Monday diet, and as long as you're true to yourself, you never fall off the wagon.

Look into your heart. Ask yourself what choices you can make that are healthier for your whole being; Ask yourself "what am I truly hungry for?"; What can truly nourish your mind, your body, your spirit?; What dreams have you buried?

You have your whole life to practice nourishing yourself from the inside out - what a gift! I also know that sometimes we all seek sound advice for our bodies (food and exercise-wise) that come from a self-care perspective and not a "diet" perspective. I encourage you to research and always know that balance, moderation and flexibility are three really comforting and wise factors when taking care of yourself and taking advice from others.

So, touch base with your heart, your deep wisdom, your physical/emotional hunger cues, then research, ask the questions, talk to the experts, and run for the right reasons.

Yoga in the Tub

I've learned that I don't need to drive half an hour to a studio, wait for class to start, stay for an hour and a half, and drive a half hour home to enjoy a yoga session for myself. Luckily, I have the luxury of doing yoga with clients on a regular basis, but I'm talking about Caroline Yoga. Me Yoga. Yoga for me. Yoga for moi. Mi Yoga.

You can guess my favorite place. I thought about this subject because a client of mine is in between homes - she's about to sell her place and move somewhere new. We were talking about finding a way to feel grounded among the packing, selling, moving and unpacking, and I asked her if she has a place of retreat. You know, it can be your bed, your screened-in porch, your backyard, your study, your workout room. I'm talking about that place where you can be alone and, hopefully, be present in your body, with your breath, with your heart.

I love my bathroom - in all the homes I've lived (except the horrible dorms!). I've always loved closing the door, cranking the shower as hot as I can stand it, turning up some lite tunes, maybe taking soothing reading material, then lounging in the shower or bathtub - just me, just my breath, and maybe some gentle stretches as the warm water soothes my muscles.

Yoga means union. Union of the breath, body and spirit. You don't need to commit to a whole hour (although that's still a good thing!). Just commit to finding peace, gentleness and truth within...wherever that might be.

A Wedding, A Funeral, A Cat & A Dog -

Last time I wrote, I mentioned it might be post-December until I wrote again, and yep, I was right. I'm ready to post more often, I'm ready to get back into my groove, and I'm ready for some normalcy again. Yet, as we all know, "normalcy" still brings its challenges and joys, and our decision to find peace and humility among the chaos and delight might be the whole point (at least that's what I think).

As you can see above, wedding bells are involved in the following blog post (!) along with a few other things. The engagement photo above is from mid-September, then the bridal portrait photo is from mid-November. Props to my fabulous photographer Frank Gibson and his lovely wife Wendy. What a solid team they make - http://www.frankgibsonphotography.com/ - I would recommend them a million times. (the following photos are from friends...)

(Our First Dance: "I Never Knew Love Like This Before" by Stephanie Mills - a little sparkle, a little disco, mucho romance and loads of fun!)

Our wedding on December 5 was magical. From the ceremony, to our loved ones supporting us, to the red velvet cake, and to all the dancing, Nick and I had a ball and felt the love surrounding us just as some special people told us it would happen. While I was a grateful bride for all the help and support from my family and friends, I was still an anxious bride. Not about Nick or our marriage...just about the rush of feelings and everything happening so fast. I had the heartburn to show for my not-so-lovely anxiety, and I have a new respect for brides, and my advice would be to try, try, try to take in everything. Savor every moment (and try not to worry yourself sick about everyone else!).

We headed to Puerto Rico for some R-E-S-T. We read scrumptious books, lounged by the pool, jumped in the waves, exercised at a nice little gym, ate authentic Puerto Rican food, walked to ancient ruins. My only wish was that we could have afforded another three weeks off the real world. Not to say real life is blah, but our bodies and hearts just needed a little more downtime to breathe and settle before it all started up again....

On the last night of our honeymoon, Nick received a phone call that his grandfather passed away. We headed to Los Angeles three days later for the funeral services, and while it was heartbreaking to see the pain and shock and how it's never easy, I saw a great BIG family (see the grandchildren above) supporting each other and loving each other. They definitely found some peace and joy in just being together, honoring their grandfather's spirit and legacy.

So, Nick and I returned from L.A. on Wednesday, December 16. On the 17th, I took my 4.5-year-old kitty "City the Kitty" to the vet for her routine vaccinations - She'd also lost quite a bit of weight while we were gone, so I was concerned. Shockingly, our vet found a mass in her belly. The next day, they did exploratory surgery, removed the tumor and her spleen. I cried, I hoped, I prayed it'd be benign. This cat is my baby - and if you're a pet owner/lover, I know you understand. I got her when I (hallelujah!) finally lived alone 4.5 years ago, and she was companion, my comfort, my little furball of love.

The night before Christmas Eve, our doctor called and gave me the sad news - lymphoma, a high grade form of cancer in my kitty's body. She has anywhere from one to four months to live. We're spending lots of time with her and keeping her comfortable until she's ready to move to greener pastures (or a higher kitty condo as I'm sure she'd love to define her heaven)....

So, once we [sort of] got over the stabbing shock of City the Kitty, Nick was feeling around on our 4.5-year-old black Lab. He's always wrestling her and kissing her and taunting her, which she loves every second. He found swollen lymph nodes. So, we said, "okay, why not let the vet check her out." The next day, Nick took Chloe to the vet where they found lymph nodes in her chest, neck and hind legs swollen. The took fluid and blood from her and sent it off for testing - just like the weekend before with City the Kitty, we held onto some Hope.

Yesterday morning, as I was making peach muffins our next door neighbor Michaela gave to us, the vet called. Chloe has lymphoma. Her life expectancy is about that of City's. We are to watch both of their appetites, weight loss and energy. We are to make them comfortable and let them know we love them with all our hearts.

No, the vet doesn't think it's environmental because the kitty has only lived in this house four months - her cancer/the tumor developed several months ago. We've just got some really crappy luck. A terrible coincidence. And, yes, we will probably have our water tested regardless for peace of mind. We joke and say we have a "control" specimen, our big-orange-bear-looking dog Bowden, who's the longest living animal in our household. His lymph nodes are fine, and he appears to be healthy - always outside in this 20 degree weather barking at anything and everything {much to our neighbors' chagrin, I am sure} and loving every minute of his simple life.

I share this to find meaning for myself and maybe give someone else an ounce of peace of mind and heart. With the good can come the bad. With the joy can come the sorrow. With the carefully planned and composed can come the shock, the loss, the uncontrollable.

We all have setbacks, we all have pain, we all have challenges. Yet, we also all have light and, hopefully, oodles of joy. Through it all, it's vital we take care of ourselves. It's vital we continue connecting our bodies, minds and spirits. Individually and together as a universe.

One of my favorite Rumi poems:

Dance, when you're broken open.

Dance, if you've torn the bandages off.

Dance in the middle of the fighting.

Dance in your blood.

Dance, when you're perfectly free.

Through it all, wherever you are, especially in this new year of 2010, I hope you can stay true to yourself, continue moving your body and your heart and your mind - Yes, that means move, hope, dream and fight for joy, grace, health, strength and peace. Stay consistent with moving your body through an exercise routine or class - let your emotions express themselves physically. Open your heart to your dreams and your hopes - use a journal or another art form to put your dreams to paper. Firmly trust that something deeper is happening beyond the bittersweet, and always rejoice in your blessings.

Peace [and dancing/moving] in 2010!

Are You Nourished?

Confession time. I haven't been nourishing myself. And, I mean in a creative way. Lately, I've been racing from here to there for work; creating wedding to-do lists consisting of my shorthand re: dj, photog, gifts, first dance; then, all of a sudden it's tax time again, and I'm talking aloud for two hours to Quickbooks Online as if it's a friend (but most of the time a foe!).

So, for anyone who might read this blog, who might enjoy learning about moderate, flexible and balanced exercise and all the tidbits I like to string along with that topic, I apologize for being absent. I'm always open to questions and writing topic ideas, so send 'em my way. Otherwise, you might be waiting until after December!

In the meantime, I found a lovely speech talking about nourishing your creativity. You've probably read Eat Pray Love, so you're probably familiar with Elizabeth Gilbert. I used to do a daily writing exercise she suggested a couple years ago, and I've even let that go. So, if you're like me - if you tend to get a little "out of sorts" (okay, let's call it what it is) - If you tend to get a bit bitchy when you don't nourish yourself in a proper creative way, take her advice and use your God-given gifts. Why not??!!

Visit http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/elizabeth_gilbert_on_genius.html

I've got a little creative idea up my sleeve for the weekend (on top of two parties, maybe three, and lots of housework) - I hope to share it with you next week. Until then, think about all the ways you truly nourish yourself (while vitamins and antioxidants are great, I'm talking about nourishment other than food). Think about it, then treat yourself.

Some Days You Shop

If you're wondering how much you should be "exercising", you're one of many! But, no wonder because there are so many different messages about exercise. Here's a few you might be considering:

*Something balanced and moderate like what the CDC recommends ~ About 150 minutes of moderate-intensity activity/week + plus 2 days of resistance training.

*Something close to The Biggest Loser tv show ~ grueling workouts with a bully trainer.

*Something along the lines of All or Nothing.

*Something that involves no training shoes or sweat.

*Something more boring than a physics class (no offense to you physicists!).

Look, the road of fitness shouldn't equal strict rules, gym-only workouts, hardcore trainers or black/white thinking. Like I mentioned recently, think moderate, balanced and flexible - just like your diet - eat your veggies, incorporate some protein, and eat those carbs for energy! Get an array of movement, learn to tune into your body, and yes, learn proper form and function of resistance, cardiovascular and flexibility training.

Take today for example - I finished training clients pretty early, so I thought I'd take advantage of my daytime freetime to run some wedding errands at the mall. Then, I thought I'd have plenty of time at home to create some step moves for my class tomorrow - you know, have my own little class by myself at home.

Well, 11am turned into 1pm, then all of a sudden, it was 3:45pm when I started heading up 75 to go home. I'd shoe-shopped and bra-shopped until I almost dropped. Zero energy leftover for any sort of step routine, and not too much brain work leftover for my usual evening computer time.

My point is that every day is different. Every body is different. Some days you make it to the gym. Some days you squeeze in some yoga. Some days you walk with a friend. Some days you train for a 1/2 marathon. Some days you rest. Some days you shop for shoes and bras until your legs ache.

Like I encouraged a client recently: View physical fitness as a combination of all physical activity - working, playing, errands, "exercising". Add up those things to see how you are feeling strength/endurance/flexibility-wise. Then, tweak your "exercise" training where necessary to feel balanced, and of course, Listen to Your Body.

Free workshop - Saturday, October 10

Movement, Art and Spirit

A Free Workshop to Celebrate You!
Saturday, October 10 ~ 3pm-5pm
The Cathedral of St. Philip, Room 368
2744 Peachtree Rd NW, Atlanta

Nourish your body and spirit through yoga and art therapy-based techniques in a safe and positive environment. Group will be facilitated by, Caroline Correll, certified fitness and movement trainer, and Megan McSwain, art therapist and licensed associate professional counselor. Please bring a yoga mat. Email caroline@mybodyflow.com for info.

Baby Anna Caroline

My sister had her third child on Friday afternoon at 3:40pm. "Anna Caroline" weighed 7 pounds and 11 ounces, 20 inches long. Even though she's a healthy weight, she's still so tiny yet so MIGHTY! I'm always in awe over newborns. And, perhaps I'm biased because she's my niece and my namesake, but it's amazing how someone so little and so new can be so peaceful and seem, like I said, so mighty!

And, I'm in awe not only about the baby but also my sister - and new mothers in general. The resilience and wisdom - I hope we're all blessed with those gifts.

The first photo is Nick, my fiance, holding Anna while she decides to stick out her tongue. (She must know he can take some teasing!) The second photo is my sister Judith holding her baby. Maybe more photos to come, but I couldn't resist a) showing off my new niece and b) sharing the miracle of new life.

The Deeper the Roots...

I'm at Starbucks in between clients, and I need to confess that I found a new favorite quote from a poster in the bathroom - "The deeper the roots, the higher the reach."

One could apply that quote to nearly anything, but naturally, I like to think of it in a body/spirit approach. The more connected you are to your body and self, the more connected you are to the world and possibility - the more able you are to reach past the glass ceiling, the more able you are to "break these chains that hold me back" (thank you, Dixie Chicks, for another borrowed quote).

On Friday, I presented to a team of specialists who treat eating disorders. Oftentimes, it's a quite a job to explain my method of personal training - how I like to encourage cross training (cardiovascular, resistance, flexibility training + rest) as well as Listening to Your Body. Every day is different, every body is different, so we need to learn to tune into our energy, what our body needs. We need our muscular, cardiovascular, bone and metabolic health, yet we also need to respect the wealth of information and sensitivities that reside in the individual body and spirit. We need to marry science and spirit. We need to build a foundation of trust between the person and healer/trainer/therapist/doctor as well as the spirit and the body.

Well, as you can see, that's a lot to explain, but it can be done. Or, maybe another creative way of explaining might how intuitive eating relates to intuitive exercise. If you're craving a tomato, eat a tomato. If you feel like flailing your arms, do it (or take a dance class!). If you feel like a cold glass of tea, drink it. If you feel like getting on the ground and breathing, soak up child's pose. If you feel like enjoying pancakes, savor them. If you feel you need direction, power or a mental break, take a hike or power walk.

The idea is to connect. It takes practice, but it works. Listen to your body, and it will tell you. It will give you the balance and strength you need. If you truly listen, it will give you the nutrients you need and the energy you deserve.

Prana Patience Prayer

It's been way too long since I've written, so why not take advantage of this Saturday night after I've had chicken noodle soup for dinner, taken a hot bath, and while my fiance watches a "futbol" game by my side.

The past month has been full of change due to moving in and merging my belongings and my life with my fiance. I've now got quite a commute, which isn't too bad. And, we're still praying for peace among our pets (the two dogs are still amazed with my furry little feline who's found a new love for hissing and arching her back around our good ol' dogs). Patience and prayer - I'm minding my P's until they're all friends.

Then, while I thought all was well besides mileage increasing and pets freaking, I got sick. It was one of those things I thought I could ride out...then I finally went to the doctor...then I went to another doctor. Next thing I knew, I had two procedures scheduled one day after the other. I've been scared and for good reason. Thankfully, my doctor gave two thumbs up after each procedure, so now I'm working on healing.

I believe we're all working on healing in one way or another - throughout our lives. Even throughout each day if you're open to looking at it that way. Or, perhaps, I believe, with each breath.

This past month, and especially this past week, I've had to slow down - way down. And, while I'm not an obsessive exerciser, I like a good dose of physical movement nearly everyday. Whether it's flow yoga, or a run/walk, or a great step class, or a tough Cathe dvd, it helps my body, my soul, my mind, to move. And, when that doesn't happen, I get cranky. Bottled up. Tight. Tense. Crabby. Moody. Really, really blah. It's like I get "out of my body" - yet, dare I even say it for fear of having this "thing" happen again - but perhaps this experience has taught me something important about "staying in my body" despite the chaos I can't control.

In order for me to make sense of the past month, and especially the past week, like many people in difficult life situations, I've turned to prayer and prana. Prana is a Sanskrit word meaning life-force, breath, vitality of spirit. Although the meaning of prana doesn't necessarily follow a particular "religious" path, I highly encourage applying any sense of religion or spirit to this practice that feels good to you. Sometimes we connect in a religious way easily through prayer - sometimes we need something more than words to connect to Something Bigger - sometimes that can be through the breath, the body, the well of energy that resides within...

Thankfully, with my yoga and movement practice, I've discovered something beyond the physical part of movement. I've discovered that energy that lies within me regardless of whether I've had a great "workout" or not. It's always there, you can always tap into it by going deep within and being open to your own healing energy.

I'd like to share two things that have helped me lately - I'll paste those below hoping maybe they can help you too. Additionally, my hope for myself and for readers is to carry this sense of healing energy throughout all phases of your life, your sickness and your health, your day and your nights, your inhales and your exhales....

#1

Inhale Grace,
Exhale Fear,
Inhale New,
Exhale Old.
Inhale Receive,
Exhale Let Go.

(I believe you get my drift - Inhale what you need, Exhale what you need to let go...)

#2

I need to be still and let God love me.
I need to be still and let God love me.
When this old world starts to push and shove me,
I need to be still and let God love me.

(from "I Need To Be Still ( And Let God Love Me )" written by: Archie P. Jordan and Naomi Martin)

Music that Moves

Sometimes, I need a little soul, a little grooviness, a little boom-boom-bass and rhythmic flow of sounds to get me going. Today has been a perfect example. It's August in Atlanta, and it's too darn hot outside to get my sweat-on. And, on a day like today, I crave something soulful, something warm and flowy to connect with my body. Proper music is key.

So, while pasting together a new playlist this afternoon, I thought I'd share with you some artists and specific tunes who soothe my soul and encourage my body to do what it needs to do:

Ganapati Om by Donna De Lory
He Ma Durga by Donna De Lory
Bittersweet Symphony by The Verve
Return to Innocence by Enigma
Somewhere Over the Rainbow by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole
Amarantine by Enya
Transform by TJ Rehmi
Only Time by Enya
And the Grass Grows By Itself by Karunesh
Love's Divine by Seal
A Day Without Rain by Enya
Come Away With Me by Norah Jones
Down to the River to Pray (Live) by Alison Krauss & Union Station

Sometime soon, I'll post one of my extreme heart-pumping, make-you-sweat playlists with some more fun tunes! Take care and listen to your body!

Looking Within v. NAAO

I'm a huge "do-not-diet" advocate. I'm also a huge believer that eating issues (overeating, undereating), food issues (you-name-it), and exercise abuse (or lack of exercise) issues, all settle much, much, much deeper than "laziness", or "she's just a control freak", or "too many vending machines followed by McDonald's". If those three examples truly explained overeating, undereating and everything-in-between, don't you think we could Move On?

When I got home tonight, I flipped on Campbell Brown's show on CNN featuring MeMe Roth, Founder and President of NAAO (National Action Against Obesity). If you watched, or if you're familiar with her antics, you know MeMe's claims of tough love for anyone who's overweight. In a nutshell, "stop eating junk, move, and for goodness sakes, have some self discipline!"

Now, if you visit the following link highlighting her philosophies ( http://www.actionagainstobesity.com/NationalActionAgainstObesity/Founder.html), you might find some decent points like the rising problem of obesity, dangerous food marketing, and eating a balanced diet. Then, she slides in that obesity is basically a self-inflicted illness. I could write a book here, but I won't.

Look, I make a living helping others to "listen to their bodies" by moving (aka exercising). I'm obviously an advocate of a well-balanced diet, consistent doses of various physical activities, and proper rest. But, from personal and professional experience, claiming that some whippersnapper self-discipline and a 4-mile daily run will guarantee you a thin, trim, fit, svelte 20s body-for-life is bologna.

Sure, we could cut back on the regular fast-food meals or the daily vending machine snacks filled with sugar. Sure, we could all step away from our computers and televisions and take the dogs on a walk. Sure, we could try to tax all the "fat" in attempts to solve all our obesity and health insurance problems. But, if it's too good to be true, you know the rest....

If you peel back the initial layers of health education (a balanced diet, listening to your body's signals, regular exercise and sleep, stress reduction), you'll find that a) some people are quite happy and healthy not being a certain size, and/or b) obesity can likely be a sign of emotional eating and sometimes categorized as a clinically diagnosed eating disorder(s).

I have a hard time with MeMe's light-switch notion that people should be more disciplined in controlling their weight and that people CHOOSE unhealthy lifestyles. Lucky for her ego, she oozes with self control and righteousness otherwise she might not be preaching.

Let me reiterate - Let's get healthy. Let's educate ourselves. But, let's also dig deeper to find out why we have food issues. Or, drinking issues, or shopping issues, or gossiping issues, or gambling issues, or relationship issues, etc. Or, how about sense-of-self or spirit issues?

Instead of diets, or drinking, or credit cards, let's get real and fill ourselves with self-care and healthy, supportive relationships. I know it's a lot to ask, but looking within toward the tender places might just be the richest thing you will ever find.



*If you feel you need some guidance in finding a therapist to help you with these issues, please feel free to contact me.

Exercise....another diet?

Why do you exercise? Have you thought about that lately? Do you think you might exercise more for the sake of burning calories (or shaping, or sculpting, or perfecting) than moving for joy, for stress relief, for strength, for flexibility, for peace? Or, perhaps it's a combination.

It's easy to let the old Diet Talk creep into your physical activity. If you grew up like me, you might not have been very athletic. I loved to dance as a girl, but when it came to dirt, balls flying, and racing, forget about it. Or, perhaps you did play a sport for fun or competition, but maybe the Diet Mentality still crept up on you...and still does.

Whether you grew up athletic or not, or whether you still play sports or not, you hear the messages that exercise is good for you. Your heart, your lungs, your muscles, your bones, and your spirit all need regular doses of movement. Yet, as I am reminded time and time again when working with clients, or conversating with a variety of people, or even taking some fitness classes, exercise seems to be considered as another route to dieting, a way to burn the fat, a way to blast the calories.

That's sad because diets don't work. Sorry, but they don't. Diets and deprivation lead to more cravings and binges. One step forward, five steps back.

Okay, so maybe you're thinking you really do need to lose weight as advised by your doctor for critical health reasons. I get that. That's okay. There are ways to safely, slowly, and healthily lose weight. But, I still don't think viewing exercise as a means to lose weight is your ticket to weight loss success or happiness. So, what's the answer? View movement as a way to connect, a way to be present in your body, a way to be real.

Sure, "exercise" has benefits like strengthening and empowering your heart, lungs, muscles, bones and spirits. I could continue to list countless payoffs, but my point is to challenge you to view exercise differently.

Move to feel good. Find some form of movement you LOVE. At first, that can be challenging if you haven't been regularly exercising. Think baby steps. Try different activities. Seek out teachers, trainers and classes who focus on the body and spirit and sustainability versus perfect physiques. Keep a journal about this experience.

Challenge yourself, then challenge others. Challenge others to focus on moving for joy and strength rather than burning calories -- Rise above that Diet Monster. Show her who's boss, who's real, who's on her way....

The Economy Diet and Binge

...is for money. And, food, love, hope, abundance, peace, rest, fun, joy, and more peace...

How are you feeling about "this economy"? I promise not to sear fear into you like some sources of media scream on a daily basis. But, I would like to touch on how fear of the economy can show up in our lives. Besides rumbles of anxiety because of job security, stress headaches over monthly budgeting, etc. - I believe the Diet Industry is chuckling a wee bit more on its way to the bank.

Here's the deal - I was reading an article in Redbook this morning - the July 2009 issue with Jada Pinkett Smith on the cover. I can't remember the specific article, and neither do I care to specify, but the gist of the article was "in this terrible economy, there's no better time to watch your diet and your waistline, since it's about the only thing you can control right now."

Excuse me? When life gets hard, just put all your energy and concern into controlling your weight, your body, and then you won't have a care, concern, worry, not to mention a feeling? Or, wait a minute, I just thumbed through the magazine to see how many insane diet ads I could fine, and Redbook gets a high five from me because their advertising is pretty solid - sans diet ads. Perhaps I should let this particular article qualify as supporting the Diet Mentality v. Diet Industry. Same thing and perhaps worse since the Diet Mentality is what drives us to eat (or not).

I believe that an economic downturn is like any other change or life cycle. Moving, job changes, getting married, getting divorced, illness, death, taxes - they're almost all inevitable. Consciously or subconsciously, falling for the bait of "if I can get to size x, then I will feel A-OK and totally in control", or to the other common extreme, "Forget it, my [economic] life/day is in shambles, I might as well eat until I'm too stuffed to move" are both slippery slopes to living fear-based living instead of present, faithful living.

So, let's back up and gain perspective. Before you plunge into another restrictive diet or numbing eating/exercise binge, breathe. Literally, inhale and exhale. Slow down. It's okay. You might not even realize you're testing the waters of the slippery slope of the Diet Mentality until you step back and ask why you want total control of your body - or perhaps why you would rather disconnect, stuff and resist feeling what you're stuffing down.

If you suspect you struggle with the Diet Mentality, find some quiet time, ask yourself why, and eventually ask for some support. Dig deeper than "I want to be a size x". Dig deeper than "I want to wear my high school jeans". Dig deeper than "I've been rejected too many times for anything good to really happen".

Whatever change is happening in your life, whether it makes you smile, whether it makes you weep, take it day by day. Slow down a little. Practice tuning into your body. If you're stomach is growling, eat something satisfying and nourishing. If you're heart hurts, find a non-food way of comforting yourself. If you feel a buzz of energy inside, get out and move!

Use this recession as a way to get back to the basics and practice finding joy and balance from within - in your body, in your heart, and in your relationships.

Cheers to change!

When I wrote last, I opened up about my anxiety stemming from moving out of my apartment, the unknown ahead, all the change taking place - all the normal things that happen in life to everybody. And, just like any other blogpost, I try to relate life "stuff" to movement or body stuff. That's what I do. I love connecting all the movement of life with movement and energy in the body - a solid way to stay present and peaceful despite whatever is happening.

So, thank you to those of you who wrote me with encouragement and support - some of you are also moving, or changing jobs, or having babies, or dealing with loss, or embracing new opportunities. Cheers to change!

Moving with Change

Holding my Breath....

I'm supposed to be taking advantage of this "down time" by packing my apartment to prepare for my move on July 25. But, I'm having a really hard time getting it done, and I'm feeling those rumbling bubbles of anxiety in my belly.

Part of me thinks it's the nasty Procrastination Monster that nestles inside of me (just wait to the last minute!). Part of me thinks it's because I'll just pile up the boxes and not really move them out today (so why do any of it?). Part of me blames the dust bunnies for zapping my energy and depending on a wad of Kleenex for the past few mornings. Part of me knows I'm resisting change. Part of me dreads feeling vulnerable and naked - my kitty and me displaced from our ideally located bubble of safety and comfort. All of me knows it's a combination of all these things.

Jump!

When I moved to Atlanta after college graduation in 2002, I lived with three other girls while searching for my first official job, searching for my landing spot, searching for something that might define me.

When I left a job two years ago that paid well along with comfy benefits, it was my choice to jump into the deepend of self-employment. My lifevest was about four months savings. Sink or Swim.

When I accepted a marriage proposal from Nick this past March, I knew more change, more plunges were on the horizon. As July rolls by, I'm inching closer and closer to that change: I'm moving about 15 miles north into my fiancé's house. My four-year-old "City the Kitty" is going with me and will meet her canine brother Bowden and canine sister Chloe (please cross your fingers the hisses, barks and scratches stay to a bare minimum).

Exhale and Move

I know that my pictures won't be organized, and my clothes won't be boxed, and my dishes won't be carefully wrapped just by the twitch of my nose. All of the picking up, piling, stacking, wrapping, packing and taping signify an uprooting. And, before that happens, I can feel the tightness in my body, the holding of my breath. It's like last night when I was with a client - she needed some grounding after a long few days, but I knew she was leaving her home after our session - So, we stayed on the floor for some gentle movement and grounding for about 25 minutes, but I slowly and gently had her stand and Be and hold and stretch. I sensed she needed to feel grounded yet eventually ready to move on with her evening at the same time.

I need the same thing right now. I think I need more rest when I'm more anxious (ha, can I use this excuse the rest of the year since my wedding isn't until December?). Along with that rest, I need to gently transition to release the nervous energy, to unleash the stored rattle of wonder (about our pets, my commute, my relationship(s)). I need movement, I need action, I need to continue moving along with the next step.

I'm proud to be able to step back and recognize what's happening. Instead of either cruising through my packing at lightning speed and becoming a tired, worn-out monster - or - completely freezing still until 6am on July 25 then thinking "I Must Pack!", I'm meeting myself in the middle. I see the change unfolding, and I recognize my anxiety as the normal sign of all my feelings regarding change - of feeling vulnerable, of wondering about the unknowns (the not-so-good and the Great!). Just stepping back and recognizing what all the nervous buzz is about helps me to move forward, to get things done in a reasonable timeframe, and to know that I am supported by a patient, kind, generous, loving partner fuels my sense of moving forward.

So, next time Procrastination bites you, or perhaps next time Anxiety rumbles in your belly, take a step back, give your body and spirit some time to reflect on what you need, then gently move forward with the change. Go with the flow.

(to be continued....)